Don’t F*ck with me or I’ll Blog about You!
Submitted by thecocktailcafe on Monday, 8 December 20089 Comments
There I was, minding my own business, getting tipsy at the Skydome Lounge on Saturday (pics coming soon, I promise) when I get a message on twitter from another fellow mom blogger @ComplicatedMama who wrote to inform me that the cocktail cafe was featured on her blog at the bottom of the post. In her post she writes:Being new to the Blogging community, I have yet to fully develop my much necessary “thick skin” Hence, this post was born… So this entry is for you my Dear Judgemental “visitor”. I am sorry that upon your visit to my site you were disgusted by the thought that I keep up this blog while raising two children and that the content was maybe not what you expected when your source referred you here.
This is an issue that quite a few mom bloggers face, including myself. And I am so sorry for those out there that feel the playbook on motherhood is something all mothers should follow. Yes, I curse, sip on cocktails, make time for ME, own and operate a blog AND somehow manage to be a great mother, wife, and friend. For many moms, blogging came out of a desire to connect meaningfully with other mothers. It serves as a means of therapy for mom bloggers like Renee who writes:
Blogging has changed my life in ways I never could have predicted. The sense of community is beyond anything I have ever experienced in my life. I opened a fortune cookie that said “You are welcome at any gathering” and I thought how true. I am quite gregarious. But the thing about blogging is that we all are welcome at every gathering. Our blogs are an entryway into each others lives, political views, religious believes, fascinations, childrearing, you name it and it is out there. We are welcome.
For a long time, I felt there was this conspiracy around me, in the media, in real life–where moms felt afraid to say that they were having a really bad day, that motherhood doesn’t always come naturally, and isn’t always inspiring and peachy. So I wanted to give voice to that, as well as crack a laugh about the overly serious business that is motherhood, with all its striving for perfectionism.
When I started blogging I promised myself that my blog would be useful: a place where mom readers could leave feeling less guilty and much better about themselves as moms because they’d found a “worse” mother at TheCocktailCafe. It would be a place for venting and confessing and laughing, not yet another diary about the joys of poop and the amazing talents of my children. Our daily struggles concerning issues like sex after pregnancy, relationships, marriage, and To Be or Not To Be: A Social Butterfly are simply some of the issues we face and we seek other moms who share in our experiences. In this article, Falicia Pratt writes:
Prior to being pregnant I didn’t go out much but I had the luxury to go out when ever time and finances allowed. It was always fun to just hang out with the girls or even my husband and just relax. Entertainment is something we all need in order to get away from the problems, issues, or concerns of our day to day routines. So now that I’m 3 months post partum I’m ready to go out and all I hear is you have a two month old (now 3 months). Why is being a social butterfly so controversial for parents?
Our lives are difficult, controversial, and sometimes amusing. Our parenting styles all different yes, but it all serves to inspire and teach us about what other women are experiencing in their lives. But mostly, there is a sense of comfort in that we are not alone. Of course I’m far from the first, and there are all these great mom bloggers out there that are highlighted so, I leave you with the wonderful words of ComplicatedMama:
guess there’s a lot more mom’s out there with the talent of juggling a family and a blog than you ever thought huh? Here have a cocktail It’s ok. We forgive you.
Popularity: 27% [?]
That makes me want to get up and blog, which I did. Thanks for your willingness to stand up, and stand out, when so many of us women cower in the corner wishing life could be different. Guess what? It can be!
I can’t believe someone would take the time to criticize someone else’s choices. Some would say by putting your business out there you leave room for the criticism, but to make some one feel less than what they are is just rude and obnoxious. Not everyone can be that “ideal mom”. Some of us want to have other things going on in our lives besides children and because of that we have to juggle. It doesn’t make us a bad mom at all. Our goals and achievements should not be diminished because of kids, but maybe strengthen. I talk about making time for yourself because that is important. We forget about ourselves all too much and feel bad (like I do at times) for taking time for yourself. But it’s needed, in fact your kids need you to take time for yourself and so does your husband. Well I’ll stop here because it looks like I could be writing another blog.
Whoever posted that comment has no life themselves.
[...] article she highlights my post about being a mom and blogger. If you missed this article you can read it here. This blog accompanies her new book being released fall of 2009. The book is entitled The Power [...]
Keep on blogging and doing what YOU’RE doing for YOU and YOUR family!
If it were NOT for blogging, I would seriously be in a room tied up somewhere. I had to give birth without my husband being here (he was deployed) and we had just moved to a new town with NO family and NO friends.
I stumbled onto a website and the rest is history!
The fact that someone took out time to criticize what YOU do is BEYOND comprehension and doesn’t even deserve YOUR attention.
Keep on cussing and living!
I am a mom – and I blog. I’m not a mommy blogger though because I don’t blog about burpin’ babies, diaper changin’, soccer or hockey, or being a good wife.
I’m a mom who blogs about politics, current events, sexuality, raising teenagers (very comical people those damn teenagers!), race, gender, and dating crazy women (I’m a lesbian). What I find almost insulting is that some mommy bloggers have decided THEY decide what a true mommy blogger is – AND what she’s supposed to look like AND what she’s supposed to blog about.
We are a diverse group of people. We are interested in many things. I would love to see more mommy bloggers blogging about those many things of interest.
P.S. Great site you have here. I love the layout.
This is EXACTLY what we preach, er, uh wholeheartedly agree with at
http://www.goodenoughmother.com. and I talked about in my book of the same name. Who says just because you are a wife and mother you forget how to have fun, or don’t want to don your little black dress and hang with your girlfriends?
This is the face of modern motherhood and in my mind, the judgmental visitor who spurred this blog, should have a cocktail or three and loosen up a bit.. sheesh!
The revolution starts here ladies!
How easily they forget that we are WOMEN first. And how our needs are met, what we value, and how we deal with our life’s issues may differ yes,
BUT
I have learned so very much from some of the smartest, funny, passionate women both on the web and in person.
AND
If we can get passed our differences and judgmental tendencies, we could actually become “True Architects of Change”. Lets continue to chat, share, and even disagree.
I raise my glass to you and all that you do… and me too (wink wink)
Omg. I found out about your blog on complicatedmom site and I love how cool your posting here.
It is my first time being on here and since I am a wahm/sahm, I am stuck at home for a majority of the time since I have three young girls that I take care of for most of the time.
Blogging is a great outlet to let the whole world know and since we are moms, we know exactly how it feels.
As for that chick who gave birth to 6 babies makes me sick so much because chicks like her make moms like us look really bad.
I have five blogs actually.
Please check mine out and let me know what you think.
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The Cocktail Cafe provides a mix of mom talk with a splash of style. Recognizing there were few resources for moms that address "their" needs, Rhea took her interest in fashion, family and writing to create an online community of sassy, stylish moms looking to find balance, happiness, and little fun along the way. Cocktail moms everywhere log onto The Cocktail Cafe for its fresh and unique take on parenting, fashion for moms, news and reviews of the hottest boutiques and mom bloggers.
Creating this site came out of her own personal experience, struggles and victories as a stay-at-home mom with three little ones. I love giving my unsolicited opinions and finding resources for the entire family. My mission has been to help every mom "celebrate the woman behind marriage, motherhood, and business".
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