Women dating Openly Gay and Bisexual Men… would you?
Would you date a man who was openly bisexual?
This is a question I find a bit disturbing and yet, with the new reports from Dwight Eubanks (50), owner of the Purple Doors Salon and Housewives of Atlanta Fame has announced to the world that he’s getting married. The openly gay star confirmed exclusively to Essence.com that he is engaged to a woman who knows that he dates men.
“I get more play from women than men,” says Dwight, who recently celebrated his fiftieth birthday with a circus theme and male and female models to escort him through the room. “I can’t get a date with a man, but the women are knocking my doors down. They just love you when you can be real about who you are.”
And this isn’t Dwight’s first time planning to get hitched to the fairer sex, quieting speculation that his heterosexual relationship is a twisted publicity stunt to garner buzz for his upcoming Bravo reality show.
“I was engaged two years ago to a prominent lawyer in the city,” he shares.
In Atlanta, a city known for its high population of gay and rumored down low Black men, keeping it real remains an important part of a relationship. Dwight shares he is completely honest with his intended about his sexuality.
“It’s really interesting because the men are so standoffish, but the women don’t care,” says Dwight. “Most of the men around here are gay, lying to their wives, slipping and dipping and all that, but it is what it is. You have to enjoy life, and that’s what I am doing.”
Another Interesting Fact:
One out of every seven men in DC is HIV positive, and 70% of all new reported cases are black women with HIV/AIDS, and the majority of those women are infected by men who know they have the disease. source
Click Here to check out Dwight’s Awesome 50th Birthday Party Pics. With over 600 guests, new housewife Kandi Burruss, NeNe (check out my Interview with her here) and Sheree (oh my).
Popularity: 49% [?]
You have got to be kidding me! I guess to each their own, right? I don’t think I would be able to date an openly gay man.
Whooow! This is heavy Rhea. Thanks for opening up the converstaion about this. Like Felecia said, to each his own. I think the major part of the pain and hurt in the alternative (down low behavior) is due largely in part to the deception.
At least if a man is honest, instead of selfish, a woman can decide for herself what works for her knowing all of the consequences.
There is a big statement here about being true to self and transparent with others. By nature we fear rejection and talk ourselves our of being open with those so supposedly matter most.
I applaud him and wish them both the best regardless of how it turns out. being real is where its at.
Malika
(Felicia – you’re comment is interesting because the question pertained to dating an “openly bisexual man” not an “openly gay man”.
Perhaps there is no difference to you? Curious.
I enjoyed and echo what Malika stated but let’s be mindful of a couple of things.
1. Honesty goes both ways, for the man AND the woman. I can’t always assume that honesty is a male issue. I’ve had my experiences as well. (Malika, I’m not saying you were saying that, but it’s still worth noting.)
2. I have to remind myself, and others who ask, that whatever I label my relationships, be it gay, straight or bisexual, there’s more to the relationship than just the sex. A lot of people are quick to assume that gay and bisexual relationships are “sex based” only, meaning, its only about the sex. Hetero relationships are hardly questioned in that regards. When most people ask “Are you gay, straight or bi-sexual?”, the majority, not all, are only interested in HOW you like your sex, and not about the emotional or spirtual side of the relationship. There’s more to it than that.
For me as long as the communication lines are open, I’m an open to the possibility of dating an openly bisexual woman or man. Because I’m not in the relationship with a CATEGORY, I’m in the relationship with a PERSON.
I find it interesting that the author of the article finds the question disturbing and doesn’t explain why, nor answers their own question.
Wow, no matter how honest are open the other person is I cant see myself dating someone that is bisexual. It just the whole thought of know. I love that dont ask dont tell policy, when you know to much it eats you up inside. The way things are going these days married or not married we should all rap it up and get tested everyday if possible…lol. Wow this is too much!
[...] Women dating Openly Gay and Bisexual Men… would you? | A Mix of … [...]
[...] Women dating Openly Gay and Bisexual Men… would you? | A Mix of … [...]
April is STD awareness month.
Be careful! STD cases on the rise!
A friend of mine who works for the largest STD dating == Positivefish. com == told me that the new subscribers have
increased 25% over 2008. Rising STD rate sparks online dating sites.
wow, i must admit that i was surprised by this story. why in the world would you marry an openly gay man? i do pray that if i’m still not married by age 50 i don’t start to lose my better judgment and think that having a gay husband is a good idea.
I wanted to respond to Breeze in saying this… the reason that I find it “disturbing”, is because women have been subjected to endure so many hardships (emotional, spiritual, and physical) and now this?
My position on this matter is communication and honesty is the key. These 2 simple words are clearly more difficult in practice. Although I could not nor would I be interested in a man who was gay or bisexual, who am I to knock another female in her choices.
As long as they are safe and are protecting themselves, knock yourself out.
[...] Women dating Openly Gay and Bisexual Men… would you? | A Mix of … [...]
[...] Women dating Openly Gay and Bisexual Men… would you? | A Mix of … [...]
online dating…
The typical process of online dating is to register, look around for a potential match, and then register in hopes of meeting singles in your area. This is always a good thing to do but why not be able to take it to another level. What if you knew the …
I am married to a gay male. He affectionately calls himself “bi-Marci”. We had a relationship before his coming out. Then many years later, we began our relationship again. We knew full well what we were getting outselves into. We enjoy swinging together with other bisexual men. Occasionally, he plays by himself. I do not feel threatened by any of this. I cannot compete with other men, nor do I try. We have a beautiful little boy and couldn’t be happier. He says he is purely sexually attracted to men, and could only see himself in an emotional relationship with another woman.
kinkyfreckles@gmail.com
[...] Women dating Openly Gay and Bisexual Men would you The Posted by root 3 hours ago (http://www.thecocktailcafe.com) Apr 7 2009 dwight eubanks atlanta houswives engaged women dating openly gay and felicia you 39 re comment is interesting because the question pertained to dating an how to lose 30 pounds in 30 days lose 30 lbs of fat in 30 days podcast powered by podpress Discuss | Bury | News | Women dating Openly Gay and Bisexual Men would you The [...]
I am an openly bisexual man with a wife of 4 years and we have a fantastic relationship. An open and honest relationship has kept us strong and healthy. The idea that men who are open sexually to both sexes is looked up so harshly because of the alleged “down lo” brothers who are supposedly just outbreak monkeys with AIDS. Truth is more black women get aids from drug users than bi or gay men• Bisexual men aren’t these sex crazed men who only want men. Its keeping an open mind that your mate can come in any form. Its not closing yourself off to the chance to find your true love be it male or female. Mines happened to be female and like any other couple we practice monogamy. Be ith who you’re with. Choose for loves sake not gender
Wow! I actually knew of someone who married someone that discovered they were gay during marriage but they had real love for each other so they made it work and most of us were none the wiser. I have no problem with people living their lives in untraditional ways but I suspect that when you start with an issues like, your man is attracted to men, that you may not be getting married for the right reason and the foundation is too rocky to even attempt a serious relationship. I hope that it is honest, not a stunt and hat both parties know what they are getting themselves into because marriage is hard enough when you are in love…I can’t imagine the alternative.
Hey Tammy,
What and excellent point that you make about being “married already” and having to address an issue such as this one. Based on the Comments left here from my wonderful and very smart readers, what I have come to a new understanding, having been married now for 9 years, that it is SO much easier to deal with a major issue when you’ve got love between the two parties.
So no matter what your “personal preferences”, as long as you are not initially entering or settling for what you think you can handle in the long term journey that is marriage, I think that you’ll be fine.
BUT, based on the statistics amongst women (and esp. African American women… how sad), I am very concerned about whether we are making healthy decisions when it comes to relationships, marriage and personal happiness.
I pray that this conversation will continue and that discussion will lead to RESULTS and not just mere CONVOs.
You know what I mean?
“One out of every seven men in DC is HIV positive, and 70% of all new reported cases are black women with HIV/AIDS, and the majority of those women are infected by men who know they have the disease.”
The part of the statement that says “the majority of those women are infected by men who know they have the disease” is unsourced garbage that attempts to maintain the notion that Black women are somehow pure as the driven snow unless defiled by diseased downlow Black men. How do you use an ad for a movie as the source of statistical information and expect to be credible?
The truth is Black women are out there getting it raw with their favorite fresh out of jail thug of the moment or a Tom, Dick and Harry from the club. I can buy one or two cases of women who were in longterm stable relationships and who were truly innocent and deceived by her man. The rest are just out there and lying. Stop making excuses and demand that he use a condom. Take responsibility for your own health.
This is deep George!
I don’t think for a second that black women are pure or innocent of any act they engage in but rather highlight “the facts” ok? And the fact is that in our culture, black men are living secret lives that WE are paying the ultimate cost for.
So what? a woman gets with a guy out of jail. Is she a mind reader? or does he have a social and personal responsibility to BE HONEST about his sexual interests and engagements with all his partners.
Honesty, Communication and Self as well as Sexual awareness if very important. Ultimately, it sounds like you have a personal issue because you can’t argue over facts.
Lack of education, preparation and acceptance is the reason we are so damn backwards right now. Both parties are to blame.
This is why its so interesting to me that there are a lot of women who are opening up to the fact that their partners are living double lives or have interests in both sexes. Whether I agree with it or not, isn’t the point but rather a question that I truly appreciate you answering.
thanks
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The Cocktail Cafe provides a mix of mom talk with a splash of style. Recognizing there were few resources for moms that address "their" needs, Rhea took her interest in fashion, family and writing to create an online community of sassy, stylish moms looking to find balance, happiness, and little fun along the way. Cocktail moms everywhere log onto The Cocktail Cafe for its fresh and unique take on parenting, fashion for moms, news and reviews of the hottest boutiques and mom bloggers.
Creating this site came out of her own personal experience, struggles and victories as a stay-at-home mom with three little ones. I love giving my unsolicited opinions and finding resources for the entire family. My mission has been to help every mom "celebrate the woman behind marriage, motherhood, and business".
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